hickonfire

Garlic

I’m fed up with people puttin’ garlic in every damn thing they cook! Our neighbors use so much garlic the paint on my house is startin’ to peel. Restaurants use it in everything that comes down the line. “Hi, my name is Connie, I'll screw anybody for an Oxycontin and I'll be your server this evening. Our special tonight is hog water and garlic.” Listen, I like garlic as much as the next person, but goddamn people, settle down!!!

I have no idea exactly when the overuse of garlic became standard practice but I’m pissed about it. In fact, I blame Emeril for this reckless behavior. I watched an episode of his show last night and the only time he got a response from his white bread, Hank and Peggy Hill Universal theme park audience was when he ask them if he should throw a mound of garlic into his recipe. At that point the thorazine soaked crowd started clappin’ and yelpin’ like a bunch of retarded seals waitin' on a treat. “Want some garlic?” “ark ark ark ark ark ark ark ark ark ark.”

posted by hickonfire @ 9:05 PM