hickonfire

King Biscuit

Today I’m offering something for all the children who sit on their mother’s/father’s lap and listen to their parents read this blog to them before nap time. In my opinion, there is nothing more important and beautiful than quality family time and I want to contribute to the bliss. Here’s a short story I hope will be entertaining and educational. I call it: King Biscuit.

King Biscuit
by Imma Hick

I’m a river steam boat. My name is King Biscuit. Some people call me KB for short. Some people call me King Biscuit the Gravy River Steam Boat for long. I got my name because I’m the biggest biscuit around. I live and work and float around on a river of gravy wider than the Mississippi. This is how I got to be the biggest biscuit you’ll ever see. I put gravy on my egg, sausage and hash brown breakfast. I put gravy on my chicken fried chicken and mashed potato lunch. And I put gravy on my pork chop and fried potato dinner. If you could make gravy frosting for cake, I’d be the happiest boat on the river. I love gravy so much that it makes my meat thermometer pop prematurely.

Jenny the Long Thin Canoe lives on a creek that flows into the river. She belongs to a farming family that grows organic vegetables. Two Saturdays ago, Jenny was carrying so many organic veggies in her hull that they created a strange multicolored flash flood down the valley. Although I didn’t see the flood, I heard it and witnessed the aftermath. I asked Jenny if she was okay and she said she was. She said that occasionally carrying so many organic veggies in your hull that it creates a strange multicolored flash flood is actually good for the creek and valley. She said it clears out the debris that clogs up the stream.

This seemed unnatural to me, King Biscuit the Gravy River Steam Boat. My river of gravy never floods. When more gravy flows into my river, the river and all of us that live on it, simply get bigger. This salty influx puts a lot of pressure on the banks, and my hull, but it never causes a violent eruption like those organic veggies. In an flash of clarity I knew my life's purpose. I had to save Jenny the Long Thin Canoe from a life of violence.

On June the 15th, I invited Jenny to join me on my river of gravy. Jenny said she thought I was a crazy bloated biscuit. She said she thought my hull was cracked and that it was going to blow apart any second and that I surely wouldn’t survive it. She asked me where I thought that would leave her. I told her I believed there was an even bigger river of gravy on the other side. I asked her if she’d ever heard of the River of Jordan. She said she had. I asked her if she knew the River of Jordan was a gravy river. She said she’d never heard that. I convinced Jenny the Long Thin Canoe that anything less than a gravy river wouldn’t be salvation. It wasn’t just a matter of faith, it was logical. Today, Jenny is known as Jenny the Small Tug and I wait for her on the shore of that most glorious of gravy rivers.

posted by hickonfire @ 9:10 AM