hickonfire

Five People You Meet In Heaven

I’m already fed up with the sappy, maudlin, manipulative part of the holidays. Yip, 24 days of horse shit to go. I’m particularly done with the previews for the upcoming Jon Voight movie ‘Five People You Meet In Heaven.’

I wonder how long it will be until technology allows the networks to customize broadcast for each household. Won’t it be so cool, and by cool I mean sappy, maudlin and manipulative, when movies about heaven will include your own dead relatives?

“Hey, the Hick has tuned in! Welcome Hick! Tonight you’ll be watchin’ your parents, your granny and a couple of pets romp around heaven. They’ll be givin’ you not so subtle lessons on conforming to social norms that they never would have done in real life! Grab some popcorn, pudding, and your therapists cell phone number ‘cause this is gonna be a long night!

Brought to you by Zales, the you’re a piece of shit for not bein’ married folks!”

posted by hickonfire @ 12:25 PM