hickonfire

Dang, It's Drafty In Here

During his acceptance speech, the President said he needed the support of Kerry voters to make America great. Well, I accept. I mean, hell I want America to be great. In that moment his tender, sweet, warm words enveloped me like a drunk college girls warm breath across my freshly shaven nut sack.

Y’all know me, I’m an idea man. I got so many I can’t fight ‘em off. So I figure this is where I can make my contribution to this new New Deal. My idea for making America great? Draft all the cocksure, arrogant assholes who bought Hummers. Hey, they’ve already got the truck!

Law partner with Hummer? Not anymore! Grab a rifle out of your Civil War collection and hit that line soldier! You voted for it in the election, you voted for it with your wallet, now you have the chance to back it up with your ass.

And why not offer a ride to three evangelicals while your at it? You’ve got the room in that big manly ride, you big man, ooh yeah give ‘em a ride, that’s right, ooh fuck yeah! Hey, they’ll bring gravy and they'll make damn sure you’re good and saved by the time you get to the battlefield.

Good luck! You are truly America’s finest.

posted by hickonfire @ 10:48 AM