hickonfire

Happy Drunks

There are two reasons friends call you in the middle of the night, either somethin’ is wrong or they’re drunk. Most of the time they’re drunk and cryin’ and snottin’ and wheezin’ and goin’ on and on about some damn thing you can’t make any fuckin’ sense out of. Then there are times when someone calls on a happy drunk. Man, listening to a happy drunk prattle on is highly entertaining. Drunks have their own logic. They’re convinced what they’re saying makes sense and that repeating it over and over will help you understand it.

A couple of boozers called last night to compliment our hickness but really, really, really wanted us, and by us I mean me, to use more politically acceptable language instead of sayin’ retard all the time. “Dude, can’t you find a morphed political way of saying retard without saying retard all the time?” Man oh man, only a goddamn retard, drunk on Feds Creek “happy water” would ask a hick to stop sayin’ retard. Yeah well, guess what Gomer, you’re blogged!

posted by hickonfire @ 8:45 AM