hickonfire

Bumper Sticker Hippies

We’ve been in Asheville, NC. for the past two days. They’ve done a cool thing with their downtown. It’s full of outdoor art and art galleries and coffee houses and cafes and little boutiques and bookstores and clubs and ethnic food and lots of chain-smokin’-let’s-save-the-world hippies. I love hippies, really. But, if one of your goals in life is to protect the environment, you shouldn’t be smokin’ like a freight train. And you really shouldn’t be smokin’ around nonsmokers ‘cause this seriously fucks up our scene, man. Dudes, I just want to eat my veggie pita and enjoy some crisp mountain air while I’m at it. Ya know what, real hippies don’t smoke. Well, they smoke pot but that doesn’t count ‘cause pot is good for you. If you smoke Marlboros, you’re a poser hippie and you’re givin’ real hippies a bad rep, man. If you smoke Marlboros you’re not quite as enlightened as your bumper sticker says you are. If ya gotta smoke, grow some tobacco and smoke it in a pipe like my grandmother did. She was more of a hippie than you’ll ever be. Of course she’d never be considered a hippie ‘cause she lived on a mountaintop farm and knitted and sewed ‘cause she had to, not because it was a cool way to impress her other chain-smokin’ friends down at the coffee house.

I’m bitchin’ ‘cause posers of all kinds piss me off. Plus that’s how I navigate the world. I suppose I’d rather have people pretend to be hippies than pretend to be Christian. At least they’ll give you a light instead of lighting you on fire. All in all I enjoyed Asheville and look forward to coming back. I mean, there must be at least one incense burnin’, let’s get centered, Buddha shop that we missed.

posted by hickonfire @ 12:05 AM